Precious life

Life is precious. In March a good friend of Rod's found that the pain in his neck and stiff arm wasnt really a slipped disk and a sore muscle but that a large tumor had gown on the outside of his lung up through his chest and up by his arm putting pressure on his spine, arteries and causing a blood clot. At that time I would have thought he had 3 weeks left to live. He had unsatisfactory care at one local hospital- and ended up at LDS hospital. Since that time it has been amazing to see his friends and associates rally around him, counseling with him and buoying him up. Things seem to pick up as the tumor responded to radiation therapy. A radiologist suggested maybe he would have 3 years with the type of cancer he thought it could be but they wouldnt be able to get rid of the tumor. And everything seemed to be going well until about 3 days ago.

Then he fell off the cliff. That happens with Stage 4 cancer. The tumor had grown to his heart and around the aorta and into the lungs. At first Bill had asked to not be on life support, then he asked to be saved if possible. And back and forth. In the end the tumor won. And Rod and I were there. We entered the ICU waiting room as Bill's wife and his adult step children sat waiting for news. Their minds couldnt get wrapped around what was happening only a few feet down the hall. Is there time to go home and feed the dogs? Is there time to go outside for a cigarette? Is there time??? But no, there is no more time. If you had been given 3 months to live what would you do? 3 Weeks? 3 Days?

After the family was allowed to go and see Bill after he had passed, and they had gone home, Rod and I stepped into the ICU. Through the big metal doors, around the desk and down the small hall of the open unit into Bill's room. We spent a few moments. Rod saying goodbye to this dear friend who deserved so much more of life. And as we left the room, it hit me. Like a I had run into a brick wall. this is exactly where I stood twenty years ago as I watched my sister fight her battle with leukemia. This is the doorway where I was standing when her nurse left her room after witnessing her small children say goodbye to their mother. This is the room that held my sister in her last breath. And I realized once more just how precious life is.

When I was a young girl my world revolved around my mommy. I was the youngest of seven children and they all went off to school so I had her all to myself. That would be me and all of the responsibility of a farmers wife raising seven children. My mom has always been one of my very "bestest" friends. That relationship has helped me pattern my relationship with my daughters, daughter in laws and my sweet little grand daughters. These women mean so much to me. I am also so grateful for my sisters and sisters from another mother. Today has been full of highlights. Thank you to my family and so many who made my mothers day special.